My so-called life

Fresh out of school and still unemployed, I’d spend my mornings (or what remained of it after waking up late) and afternoons in front of the boob tube, surfing the internet, or wearing out my kid brother’s PS joystick. Once in a while, my mum would drag me out of the house to carry her grocery bags for her, or whenever she wants someone to lock arms with while touring Watson’s and Rustan’s. A particularly active day would involve a pre-employment exam (which often turns out to be an Otis-Lennon sat) or a screening interview. On weekend nights, I burn nets with local buddies in a nearby covered court. With a few variations here and there (a long shower, to name a few), my week is basically that. Lang.

Noon, I would rave about all those TV specials I frequently miss. I’d repeatedly squeeze in from one to two hours of review/study time so I could watch HBO and play online games. In the guise of Inhinyero/Logscript work, I’d stay up late at night to laugh at Leno’s jokes and catch up on metropolitan chismis. I could still do that now, and more. But somehow something ain’t right. I seem to feel like I can’t enjoy them properly anymore. There are some things missing that make procrastination such an enjoyable activity (or non-activity, depending on how you look at it).

I miss drinking caffeine for a reason (thesis paper due tomorrow), or using google productively (like “fitting” data on lab work I skipped). I miss the sugar high minutes before exams. I miss checking my email for uploaded homework and advance cheat sheets. Also the sense of accomplishment one gets with a thoroughly-researched submission. And of course, I miss looking forward to goofing off on Saturdays knowing fully well I’d have to resort to cramming everything else on Sunday night.

Clearly, unlimited net and cable TV are all too overrated. I found out that they’re fun insofar as you’ve got better things to do with your time. Otherwise, they can be boring as hell. Eventually your flow goes through a transition stage (ala kinse, my fellow engineers), and everything becomes topsy-turvy. Un-fun things like writing or reading or organizing your desktop become fun, while traditionally fun things like watching TV and lounging about the house become un-fun. Roles become reversed and as time passes by, you lie awake in bed wondering what is going wrong… and why.

Funny, I used to go to bed early as a means of evading the day’s troubles and responsibilities. Now, I go to sleep because on hindsight, it’s the only interesting thing left to do. That’s how super bland my typical day has become. It’s not a tough living but hey, you know of a better hole? I’ll crawl into it.

Now if I had a little less prudence, I’d wish I had a job now para I could start enjoying life again. However, herein lies a subtle irony… and an opportunity to see the upside (or rather, the sole benefit) of graduating behind schedule. You tend to have friends in the workforce already. And judging from what I see and hear at times we bump into one another, err… well, let’s just say it makes you think of that old adage: “Be careful what you wish for…”

So I guess my wishes would have to wait, I’ll try to enjoy my so-called life for a little while longer Ü